cracked by the past
by thelumpiestlumpinthewest
Summary: There's been so much death in his life. Percy/Nico. AU.


a. ( _coming up only to hold you under )_

Percy sits on the little dock, waded out into the green depths of the lake. This estate belongs to his mother, Sally, who allowed him to use it for a few weeks in July. He likes it here – very peaceful, plus it reminds him of the camp. In fact, Annabeth is inside right now, with Nico, sharing a bagel and watching some cheesy rom-com.

He stares a few seconds at the water. Down deep, there is fish swimming. Alga gathers on their scaly bodies and then falls away as the fish darts towards the opposite end of the lake.

Percy doesn't think before shedding his shirt and jumping over the wooden railing.

He plunges into the cold, murky ripples of water. Percy breathes through the H2O as if it were oxygen, filtering through his body like air would a regular human being. Fish take both his sides, keeping his pace as they swim.

And, for one beautiful second, Percy belongs.

b. ( _and I'm coming up only to show you wrong_ )

Nico watches from the shadows.

The entire camp seemed to think that Seaweed Brain and Wise Girl had been made for each other – they'd been through so many near-death experiences together, it just felt natural.

That is, to the outsiders.

Percy and Annabeth loved each other. They weren't _in_ love with each other.

The kiss in the lake, after the battle with Kronos, was simply to spur of the moment. And they'd both knew it.

Nico has known Annabeth and Percy for a very long time. He knows that there's a certain _girl_ that Annabeth loves in a shallower way than Percy. He also knows that Percy loves someone else, too, but he's not sure who yet. 9

Nico waits for Percy's head to break the surface.

"What's up?" he calls. Percy looks startled.

"I thought I'd go for a swim," he says. There's a pause, and Nico sinks into shadows, gathered from the late afternoon sun.

Suddenly, Percy feels cold all over, and everything is black.

c. ( _and to know you is hard; we wonder… _)

Annabeth sits on the marble counter. Nico stands behind her, frying something that smells like heaven, but doesn't look very promising at the moment. And then there's Percy, sprawled across the couch, snoring loudly in a way than resembled a lawnmower being started.

The cabin is warm and still and quiet (except for Percy's monster snores). Annabeth's hair is curled into almost ringlets from the humidity, and the cabin doesn't have air conditioning. She leaves it down, since there's really no use messing with it in the overbearing heat.

"How have you been?" Nico asks. Whatever he's cooking sizzles loudly, as if in anticipation.

"Okay, I guess. You?"

"Fine. So I heard you and Percy are on a _break_."

Annabeth sighs. She wasn't really sure herself on the topic. She'd never really been in love with Percy in the first place, so she wouldn't say it was a break-up, or even a little time away. They hadn't even really been an official thing, so, she didn't know how to answer exactly.

"We were never really together in the first place," Annabeth decides. Nico was always one, she thought, to keep her secrets. He had enough of his own, anyway.

"Really?" he asks, dramatically, one hand on his heart, his mouth open. She slugs him in the shoulder. He laughs.

"Yes, really, moron. But you knew that."

Annabeth thinks about the picture of Piper in her wallet, which is laying the corner. Nico notices her expression.

"She understands, you know," he says comfortingly. Annabeth turns her eyes to the floor, and then looks up at the still sleeping Percy through her eyelashes. His expression is serene – not sad, not happy, not anything. She wishes she could feel like that.

"If it wasn't for Percy…" she trails off, deciding not to say anything. Nico will understand, though.

"If it wasn't for Percy, you'd be with Piper right now," he says bluntly. Annabeth drops her head into her hands.

"Yeah. Percy."

d. ( _to know you all wrong; we warn )_

Annabeth brings Piper to meet Percy a few days later. She's very pretty; a child of Aphrodite, no doubt. But she's not like the others – not at all.

Piper is Native American, with choppy brown hair peppered with little braids. Her eyes change color – blue, gold, green. Percy can see why Annabeth likes her. He can see why anyone would like her. She grew up on the beach; even _he_ likes her.

"My dad's Tristan McLean," Piper tells them. Nico doesn't know who that is, but Percy grins wide.

"Oh, man," he says. "That's cool."

Piper smiles at Annabeth secretly, face tucked behind her hair. Annabeth nudges her shoulder.

"Hey, do you guys know Jason Grace?" Piper asks. Percy thinks about it, while Nico keeps his nose pressed to Percy's hair.

"Thalia's brother, right?" he says finally.

"Yeah."

They talk some more, Piper and Percy, with Annabeth and Nico on edge. There are some things that Percy can't handle; they're hoping Piper isn't one of them.

Later, both Nico and Annabeth take Piper home, since Percy wants to swim. They trust him to be alone – after all, they have a daughter of Aphrodite to warn.

"So Piper," Nico says. He's sitting in the backseat of Annabeth's jeep, with his elbows resting on either girl's seat. "What'd you think of Percy?"

Piper shrugs and looks at him through the mirror.

"He's nice."

"Pipes," Annabeth says quietly. Careful as she is, she keeps both hands on the wheel, even as Piper looks at her. "Percy isn't…"

Fortunately, Nico takes over.

"Percy's pretty much a whack job, but understandably so. Since, you know, he's the savior of Olympus and stuff."

Piper draws her eyebrows together, lips parted in confusion.

"So…like…PTSD?" she asks. "Because my grandpa had that."

Nico shakes his head and thinks.

"We really don't know. Just…try not to set him off."

e. ( _really too late to call_ / _so we wait for morning )_

Annabeth left a few days ago for Olympus to continue her job rebuilding the grand city of the gods. She left Percy with Nico, which isn't really a problem, except sometimes Percy wants bacon that's burnt on one side, to remind him of Annabeth.

Yeah, well, Nico doesn't burn bacon, so.

It's late – _midnight_, Nico thinks. He and Percy are lying on the dock, staring at the stars. They pick out the constellations; including _The Huntress_, but Percy shies away from _that _subject, after Nico points it out.

"…and there's Orion…" Percy's saying, slightly happy, since there haven't been any attacks on the cabin recently. Nico listens patiently, taking in every detail of Percy's explanations to each cluster of stars, which Nico already knows about, but listens anyway, because Percy deserves to be happy about _something_. Even the water has started to make him sad, now.

"…and there's the North Star…" Percy points to the glowing ball of gas, hanging in the sky and Nico smiles because Percy smiles.

"America should really give more money to NASA," Nico says quietly. Percy goes eerily still beside him.

"_There were constellations on the ceiling_," he whispers, monotonously. Nico looks over at him. "_Olympus. The gods. Poseidon, Zeus, Hades, Hera, Athena, Hermes_ –"

"Stop, Percy," Nico tries, but he's already succumbed to the flashbacks, dilation setting in his eyes, face pale, lips opened slightly.

_It's Kronos, in Luke's body. He used to be so beautiful – not anymore. His eyes are golden, now, spinning faster as time goes slower. His scythe is swinging. There's Annabeth, limping by Percy's side._

_He's sweating. The room is hot – cooking at a thousand degrees with the heat of Kronos's powers, the haze of the time's slowing taking its toll. Riptide isn't a comfortable weight anymore, not like it used to be, becoming heavier and awkward in his hands. The golden sword fights to free itself from Percy's grip, but he won't let go. He's waited too long, been kept in the dark. Though helpless he may be, he still has Annabeth by his side and his weapon of choice. Kronos is close, too close, and Percy knows this is it – good—bye—_

There's a scream and then nothing.

When Percy wakes up, it's in his bedroom in the cabin, right next to Annabeth's. Nico isn't there, but he assumes he was the one to bring him here in the first place. He doesn't remember much, just not _wanting_ to remember.

He climbs out of bed and walks (stumbles) into the kitchen.

Nico's there, chatting with the ghost of a fish, which followed him inside. Percy can't see it, but he has an inkling that Nico's not just talking to thin air.

He clears his throat and Nico looks up from the fish.

"Hey."

"Hi." Percy sits down at the counter-table thing beside him.

"I wanted to call Annabeth, but it was, like, one in the morning," Nico tells him. Percy shrugs, and rubs his face. A banana is slid to him, and he takes it.

A few moments later, Percy stands beside Nico on the dock, eating his banana and watching the other drop a drachma into the water, saying a quick prayer to Iris, goddess of the rainbow. After that, he says '_Annabeth Chase, please_' to the water, and the connection is established almost instantaneously.

"You didn't call me last night, Nico di Angelo," Annabeth says crossly, arms across her chest, one hip cocked to the side. Her hair looks considerably less frizzy on Olympus, tucked underneath her baseball cap.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We had a little…_problem_ last night," Nico explains. He doesn't look at Percy, but Annabeth does.

"What happened?" she asks, serious and grave-faced. They become oblivious to the noisy construction of a new temple behind Annabeth's back. It's mute to them.

"It was a flashback, I think. He was talking about the gods and then Kronos and stuff, so yeah," Nico says. Percy focuses on his banana, ashamed.

"Okay," Annabeth sighs. She looks more tired than when they'd first opened the Iris message. "Okay, I'll be there soon. Just hold on."

f. ( _to wake you is all we got )_

They wake up together.

Annabeth finds Percy in her doorway, just as she's about to stand up and go to his. He has a sad look on his face; confused, too. She imagines she looks the same way, after the dream she just had. A flashback into her past, just not as vivid as Percy's.

"Hey, sweetheart," she mutters, voice thick with sleep, albeit a restless kind. Percy shifts awkwardly in the doorway, face illuminated by the moon, peeking through Annabeth's lace curtains. "What do you need?"

"I…uh…" he stutters, not entirely sure why he's here at all. But she knows, obviously. She always knows.

"It's fine, Percy. We'll just…we'll go see Nico," Annabeth says, and takes his hand. He follows her up the stairs, where Nico's curled into a ball on the couch, breathing quietly, unlike Percy.

Annabeth and Percy stand there, unsure of whether to wake him, or just go back downstairs.

"Well," Nico says after a few moments, his eyes still closed. "Are you gonna come over here or are you going to go back downstairs and stop wasting my precious sleep?"

So Percy lies down next to Nico and tucks his face in his neck. Then, Annabeth slips between them, with her head on Nico's chest, and her face in the juncture where Percy's shoulder meets his neck. Their legs tangle together, one hooked over another hooked over another.

They lie there and don't wake up for a _very_ long time.

g. (_ to know me as hardly golden _)

_Annabeth Chase, the wise girl._

Her hair had been made of golden curls, which framed her face in such a way that suggested she was from Heaven, and not Earth or Olympus. She had eyes like a dangerous storm, burning with intelligence and desperation. Her lips were pink and soft and full like a bow. Though, she hadn't been the most beautiful girl at camp, she had been the best, in specific terms of speaking. Both Nico and Percy had liked her, almost immediately.

Now, her hair had lost its golden shine and color. It was pale blonde and thin, rather than full, as it had been before. Her lips were thinner, as well, and her eyes were dull grey, like the lead of a pencil. There didn't seem to be anything remarkable about her appearance anymore. She wasn't Annabeth Chase. Not really. She was just Annabeth. Skinny, gangly Annabeth. That was her.

She wasn't anything special, but they still loved her.

_Nico di Angelo, the ghost king._

His hair had been brown and shaggy, back when he still looked his age. He had olive skin that glistened in the sun, when he wasn't wearing that stupid aviator jacket. He had brown eyes that made him look curious and happy. They complimented his crooked teeth, which fit his age and made him innocent. He still remembers playing Mythomagic; that dumb card game. Percy had taken to him almost instantly, and Annabeth had been indifferent, really, but that was then. That was when Bianca was still alive, looking at him with her bright eyes and her dark hair. Bianca had been everything, then. Everything and nothing.

Now, his hair was inky black. No one knew exactly how or when it happened; it seemed to have turned over night. His skin was pale white, losing the caramel tint it once had because of the time spent away from the sun. Spent underground. He had sunken eyes, which had turned black as well, deep and dark with not even a hint of light. He'd gotten taller, grown up far too fast, and he was completely different. This was Nico di Angelo, now. This was the Ghost King.

_Percy Jackson, the savior of Olympus_.

He had been the most beautiful and amazing demigod to ever have walked the Earth. He had been the boy who'd defeated the Minotaur the first day he'd arrived at camp, the first day he knew he was a demigod. He'd been the one to be given a quest almost instantly, and the one who Annabeth had hated more than anything, then. He had been the one with tan skin and green eyes, deep like the sea. He had been the one who met the oracle Delphi before either of his friends. He had been the one to teach the Ares cabin a lesson, which made him a hero. He had been the one to discover Luke's betrayal. He had been the one to recover the Golden Fleece and give it to Thalia's tree, which, in return, turned into Thalia. He had been golden.

Now, he still had hair like the night sky, but his eyes were dull, his skin paled. He didn't know how to handle his feelings. He was a clumsy, broken excuse for a hero, even if everyone believed in him. Instead of being at camp, he was with the Ghost Prince and Annabeth Chase at a cabin in the middle of nowhere. No one would've ever thought that Percy Jackson would ever end up being here. Being _this_. Well. This is how it was. This was the savior of Olympus.

h. ( _is to know me all wrong, they warn _)

There's an attack on the camp.

Annabeth hears it from Piper, through Iris message. She sees the havoc the monster is wreaking.

She wakes Percy up from his nap and calls Nico from his visit to Camp Jupiter. He's there in only a few moments, since he calls upon every shadow he can muster. It's tiring, but he knows he has to be ready. He has to help the camp.

Annabeth pulls the suitcase out from underneath the couch and runs out the door. She shoves it into the jeep, and then starts the engine. Nico and Percy stumble after her, clumsily falling into her vehicle with sluggish movements.

It only takes a few minutes, since Annabeth's a good driver, in the sense that she can go fast without anyone noticing. They pull up outside the entrance. Nico unlocks the suitcase and hands Annabeth her dagger, and pulls his own black sword from it. Percy takes his pen from his pocket. Nico can see the fear weighing on Percy's body, though.

They run through the entrance, but they're too late.

Beyond the front gate, bodies of campers are strewn across the campgrounds. Chiron gallops around, handing out bandages to the Apollo campers who were left uninjured. Annabeth immediately runs to a bloody, blonde body.

Percy's eyes get wide. There's so much blood. So many unconscious bodies. So much destruction.

His mind wanders to crowded streets, puddles of _blood, dead comrades, monsters_…

_He's there. Clarisse slayed the monster which killed Silena, but there are more. So many more. The camp will never be able to keep it up. They're just kids. The body of a young girl – only six or seven at the most – lies a few feet away. There are tons more around. He's helpless to do anything, really. There's nothing he wouldn't give to save his fellow campers, even if it meant giving his own life._

_The rogue demigods and monsters from the deepest pockets of Tartarus charge the loyal half-bloods. It makes Percy sick to run past the dead body of that poor little girl, but he does. He takes a blow to the head, and he's spinning. Blood flies from his face and his hands and his _body_ in general, but he keeps going, keeps moving, keeps… –_

There are lips on his own.

They are unfamiliar. He's never tasted them before, but he can't bring himself to open his eyes, because they feel _natural_. The kiss feels like it was meant for Percy, it was always meant for Percy. Whoever it was, though Percy has a hazy hunch, was created for the very purpose of loving Percy.

They pull back, but only slightly.

"_Nico_," Percy sobs, the name a prayer on his lips, leaping into the world with a divine purpose. There's little space between their face, but Percy can't _function_ anymore.

He doesn't realize he's speaking. Unintelligible words that don't make sense, but it _is_ happening and he doesn't know if this is real.

"I know, Percy. I know. I love you, too," Nico says, and there are hands; petting his hair, rubbing circles on his cheeks, taking his tears away. Percy doesn't remember falling, but they're on the ground, so obviously it happened. There's grass underneath him and he can feel the magic that courses through Camp Half-Blood's grounds.

Nico helps Percy up and they help bandage the remaining campers.

i. ( _at every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral _)

Percy stares at the mirror. The suit he's wearing is too hot and sticky for the summer.

Annabeth leans in the bathroom's doorway. Her hair is pulled backwards into a curly, blonde bun. She wears a black suit jacket and pencil skirt, with heels that click lightly on the floor when she walks.

"You don't have to go, sweetheart," she says quietly, holding her purse near her stomach. Percy stays quiet for a second, and then takes a deep breath.

"No, I—I want to go. He'd want me there," he decides. Annabeth nods, gives him a little smile, and turns away, going in the direction of the front door. Nico collects him from the bathroom and they climb into the jeep somberly, behind Annabeth.

After picking Piper up from camp, Annabeth pulls into the parking lot of an ordinary, square funeral home. There are many of their friends already there when they step onto the asphalt. Annabeth and Piper go, together, to talk to Katie Gardner and Connor Stoll.

Nico takes Percy's own hand, and they walk across the parking lot, into the funeral home's lobby.

Splitting up the Stoll brothers is like taking Fred from George, which granted, did happen, so that's a pretty bad comparison.

After the service, everyone is quiet. Piper and Annabeth cry with Katie and the entire Hermes cabin converges on Connor with a giant group hug. Percy sits with Nico and stares at the casket, which they'll bury soon.

There's been so much death in his life.

He'll just have to be ready for the funerals.

* * *

**Lyrics from _The Funeral _by Band of Horses  
**


End file.
